I am so blessed to have two sisters, both of whom I love dearly. Unfortunately because of daily life responsibilities, work, family obligations, health and distance we do not always get to see and talk to each other as often as we would like. I cherish any time I get to spend with either of them.
Last night I had the opportunity to sit and talk with my youngest sister at her new home. I met the new man in her life and listened as she shared the new direction her life is moving We shared a few memories of the past and reflected on lessons learned. As usual, hours came and went unnoticed or marked until it was late and we reluctantly had to call our current time together to an end. Hugging each other in parting I couldn't help but feel the warmth of love. We may not reach out to each other as often as we like, but when we do, we walk away enriched, sustained and with renewed knowledge of who we are.
On the drive home I thought about the opportunity I had just a few weeks ago to visit with my other sister as I drove her from the airport to our parent's home. We shared happenings, concerns and hopes for family members, shared some memories and reflected on the importance of beliefs and choices in life. As always, our time together was not long enough before time nudged to let us know we needed to refocus on life around us again. So with a hug and kiss we separated comforted by the knowledge we are not alone in our beliefs, thoughts or struggles and we each have strengths, talents and love we can call upon to carry us through life until we speak or meet again.
My thoughts about my sisters and the ways they each touch my life in different ways are what I am blessed to start this day with. I know keeping these in mind I will walk lighter, find enlightenment and look for opportunities and meaningful moments throughout the day.
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Thursday, February 17, 2011
In Perspective With Gratitude
I just read on FaceBook that my sister had gone through our mother's music, organized it and downsized what was there. My heart skipped a few beats, I went emotionally into panic mode, and fear. All I could hope was it was only the music that mom used for teaching her piano students and not all the old pieces in the cabinet, some of which to me would be irreplaceable.
There is a lot of music mom has that is much more than just a sheet of notes. Much of her music is tied in with memories and precious moments and sounds that cannot be recreated and never forgotten. There is music in the cabinet that is older than I am, older than my parents even, yet I love more than anything that is new. There is music in the cabinet that were favorites of my uncles, aunts, cousins, parents and grandparents. To me the music in the cabinet cannot be downsized. It can be shared among the family, cherished and kept for new generations to learn and love, but never given away. For almost every piece in the cabinet has a story, a person or a time attached to it. Mother's whole life history can be chronicled through the music that is or should be in that cabinet. Even some of the music that was probably on the shelf with her piano teaching books should be added to the cabinet, for it is part of he.r later life and what music has played an important part her later life.
My sisters and I have often talked about the time when we would all sit down together and go through the music. We have even discussed different pieces that are important to each of us and how hard it could be to decide, when the same song is important to each of us, who would be the keeper of the music sheets and who would keep only the memories. I have always kept that time as far away, and my sister's post made me look at how quickly the years are passing and how the times we think are far away can become here and now in a fraction of a second.
Until my sister's post about the music, I had not let the knowledge that mom's accident could have been fatal hit my heart and mind, or allow the tears to flow slowly down. I have thanked the Lord that it was not more serious than it is and that she is alive, but had not let the feeling of loss do anymore than quickly pass through. Yet the thought that we could be going through the music right now anyway, without Mom still here, really hit me hard. I was so grateful that my sister could have the opportunity to go through the music, organize it and downsize some of it as an effort to make things easier for mother in the next few weeks and months, and hopefully many more years. I was so grateful we as a family were not sorting through the music to make it easier on dad because having all the music there is too much of a reminder of mother for him to handle. With perspective, the loss of a few sheets of music was far better than the loss of everything my mother is my life.
So instead of feeling panic that my sister is going through the music, and wondering what she kept or didn't, or what she will take home with her, I will send her my love, my encouragement and a prayer that she will be inspired in her choices. I will pray that as she goes through the music, she will be surrounded by all the people from the other side of the veil that know and love the music, and that they will inspire her choices of what to keep or how to organize it so it can be shared with love. I will pray that as she and mother go through the music, that they will feel surrounded by love from those here on this earth and those that are waiting for mother to join them in heaven. Music has been a thread through so many generations, and this music represents the thread that can be unwound for many more generations to come.
In perspective, now is the perfect time to be going through mother's music, and share it again. I am grateful for the chance to have mother here to bless it's passage. I pray that I will take the time as I review the sheets of notes, that I will write down the memories, the history and the love of each one special to me so my children and grandchildren will know why music is so much a part of my life and who I am or what I have become.
There is a lot of music mom has that is much more than just a sheet of notes. Much of her music is tied in with memories and precious moments and sounds that cannot be recreated and never forgotten. There is music in the cabinet that is older than I am, older than my parents even, yet I love more than anything that is new. There is music in the cabinet that were favorites of my uncles, aunts, cousins, parents and grandparents. To me the music in the cabinet cannot be downsized. It can be shared among the family, cherished and kept for new generations to learn and love, but never given away. For almost every piece in the cabinet has a story, a person or a time attached to it. Mother's whole life history can be chronicled through the music that is or should be in that cabinet. Even some of the music that was probably on the shelf with her piano teaching books should be added to the cabinet, for it is part of he.r later life and what music has played an important part her later life.
My sisters and I have often talked about the time when we would all sit down together and go through the music. We have even discussed different pieces that are important to each of us and how hard it could be to decide, when the same song is important to each of us, who would be the keeper of the music sheets and who would keep only the memories. I have always kept that time as far away, and my sister's post made me look at how quickly the years are passing and how the times we think are far away can become here and now in a fraction of a second.
Until my sister's post about the music, I had not let the knowledge that mom's accident could have been fatal hit my heart and mind, or allow the tears to flow slowly down. I have thanked the Lord that it was not more serious than it is and that she is alive, but had not let the feeling of loss do anymore than quickly pass through. Yet the thought that we could be going through the music right now anyway, without Mom still here, really hit me hard. I was so grateful that my sister could have the opportunity to go through the music, organize it and downsize some of it as an effort to make things easier for mother in the next few weeks and months, and hopefully many more years. I was so grateful we as a family were not sorting through the music to make it easier on dad because having all the music there is too much of a reminder of mother for him to handle. With perspective, the loss of a few sheets of music was far better than the loss of everything my mother is my life.
So instead of feeling panic that my sister is going through the music, and wondering what she kept or didn't, or what she will take home with her, I will send her my love, my encouragement and a prayer that she will be inspired in her choices. I will pray that as she goes through the music, she will be surrounded by all the people from the other side of the veil that know and love the music, and that they will inspire her choices of what to keep or how to organize it so it can be shared with love. I will pray that as she and mother go through the music, that they will feel surrounded by love from those here on this earth and those that are waiting for mother to join them in heaven. Music has been a thread through so many generations, and this music represents the thread that can be unwound for many more generations to come.
In perspective, now is the perfect time to be going through mother's music, and share it again. I am grateful for the chance to have mother here to bless it's passage. I pray that I will take the time as I review the sheets of notes, that I will write down the memories, the history and the love of each one special to me so my children and grandchildren will know why music is so much a part of my life and who I am or what I have become.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
3 Month Memories
I check on one of my favorite blog almost daily to see pictures of a little princess and how the little family is doing. Their last post was New Years Day so I was so excited to see that it had changed and there were new pictures of the princess and new thoughts shared about the mother's feelings and what is going on with her. I love this couple and thrive on knowing their ups and downs. They are so special, and the adoptive mother is right, this baby was chosen for them. It wasn't an accident they were chosen by the birth mother to be the couple to share this precious spirit with, for I know that a loving Heavenly Father brought them into the birth-mother's life because of who they are, their love for each other and their genuine love for her. Every time I read about how much the adoptive mother talks to the baby about her birth mother, I know again that this match was made with divine intervention, and I cry myself to know that this little girl will always know how much she is loved.
I am glad to know their prayers for the birth mom are continuing. The birth mother is starting a new path of education this term and needs their prayers as she studies and prepares for her future. What I know too, is that if she needs some extra support from outside her circle of family and friends, her newest friends will be there for her. On her blog the adoptive mother shared a blog by another birth mother. I read the blog and thought about how different the experiences of these birth mothers are. From the blog I got the feeling that that mother felt alone and excluded, while the birth mother I support has a circle that surrounds her tightly. I am sure that they both share the feelings of loss and wish they could hold their child everyday, but it helps to know that the adoptive mother is honoring the birth mother in everything she does and to be assured your child, even though a distance from you, will always know how loved and cherished she is and that her mother did give her away but gave someone else a gift of love from the center of her heart.
Anyway the little princess is growing everyday. The adoptive mother talked about doing Tummy Time and what the baby likes and doesn't like about being on her tummy. I, of course thought about my grandchildren when they were that age.
Memories once they start don't just stop with a few good warm feelings. Once the memories start to roll, both the good and the bad come flooding out and you have to sort through to find the ones you want to look at closely. Mixed with the memories of babies lying in their car seats at my feet as I fix dinner, cooing and laughing, are the memories of late nights not knowing when the baby was going to be home. Mixed with the memories of babies slumbering in their beds are the memories of them lying crying alone because his/her parents were asleep. Along with the normal smells of baby powder, lotion and clean washed hair are the smells of drugs and smoke that choked me with their strength. Happy hours of just rocking a baby in a chair or cuddling close are interrupted by that same child being yanked out of my arms in anger. Quiet Tummy Time with these babies is what I choose to remember over the fighting of the parents as they stood over them. I prefer to remember the times of seeing them playing gleefully with their toys over the times I would arrive to check on them and find them crying and alone.
Isn't it wonderful that life gives us memories? Some we look at and say, "I am so glad I made it through." Even though they may be painful to look at, we chose to keep them as memories because they are proof of our strength, our ability to face trials and solve problems and grow through struggles and challenges. Other memories we review and keep because they bring back the laughter and joy we sometimes forget we had or do not always take the time to look for in our busy lives right now. Those memories remind us to lighten up and enjoy life while it happens, for the moments with children as they grow are many but short, never lasting as long as we wish, but always bringing a smile.
So as I think about years ago and the babies of that day, I will choose to embrace the memories of love, laughter, joy, fun, peace, and calm of those days and hold onto some of those feelings to carry me through all the current todays of the week. As I think about the babies of today and reflect on the ones of my past I will notice the similarities, hold tight to the love that comes flooding back, remember to laugh at the simplicity and miracle of life in whatever stage of life I am in. I will watch with eagerness as new mothers and fathers share their observations of parenthood and boast about their little princess or prince. I will remember to smile and find my own miracle moments to make new memories with.
I am glad to know their prayers for the birth mom are continuing. The birth mother is starting a new path of education this term and needs their prayers as she studies and prepares for her future. What I know too, is that if she needs some extra support from outside her circle of family and friends, her newest friends will be there for her. On her blog the adoptive mother shared a blog by another birth mother. I read the blog and thought about how different the experiences of these birth mothers are. From the blog I got the feeling that that mother felt alone and excluded, while the birth mother I support has a circle that surrounds her tightly. I am sure that they both share the feelings of loss and wish they could hold their child everyday, but it helps to know that the adoptive mother is honoring the birth mother in everything she does and to be assured your child, even though a distance from you, will always know how loved and cherished she is and that her mother did give her away but gave someone else a gift of love from the center of her heart.
Anyway the little princess is growing everyday. The adoptive mother talked about doing Tummy Time and what the baby likes and doesn't like about being on her tummy. I, of course thought about my grandchildren when they were that age.
Memories once they start don't just stop with a few good warm feelings. Once the memories start to roll, both the good and the bad come flooding out and you have to sort through to find the ones you want to look at closely. Mixed with the memories of babies lying in their car seats at my feet as I fix dinner, cooing and laughing, are the memories of late nights not knowing when the baby was going to be home. Mixed with the memories of babies slumbering in their beds are the memories of them lying crying alone because his/her parents were asleep. Along with the normal smells of baby powder, lotion and clean washed hair are the smells of drugs and smoke that choked me with their strength. Happy hours of just rocking a baby in a chair or cuddling close are interrupted by that same child being yanked out of my arms in anger. Quiet Tummy Time with these babies is what I choose to remember over the fighting of the parents as they stood over them. I prefer to remember the times of seeing them playing gleefully with their toys over the times I would arrive to check on them and find them crying and alone.
Isn't it wonderful that life gives us memories? Some we look at and say, "I am so glad I made it through." Even though they may be painful to look at, we chose to keep them as memories because they are proof of our strength, our ability to face trials and solve problems and grow through struggles and challenges. Other memories we review and keep because they bring back the laughter and joy we sometimes forget we had or do not always take the time to look for in our busy lives right now. Those memories remind us to lighten up and enjoy life while it happens, for the moments with children as they grow are many but short, never lasting as long as we wish, but always bringing a smile.
So as I think about years ago and the babies of that day, I will choose to embrace the memories of love, laughter, joy, fun, peace, and calm of those days and hold onto some of those feelings to carry me through all the current todays of the week. As I think about the babies of today and reflect on the ones of my past I will notice the similarities, hold tight to the love that comes flooding back, remember to laugh at the simplicity and miracle of life in whatever stage of life I am in. I will watch with eagerness as new mothers and fathers share their observations of parenthood and boast about their little princess or prince. I will remember to smile and find my own miracle moments to make new memories with.
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