Insecurity - Should I Worry or Trust Myself?

I have a co-worker  who is planning a trip to our corporate office in Boston, Massachusetts.  I have had numerous co-workers make a similar trip, wished them well and actually been excited for them.  It can be a great trip.  The one time I was privileged to journey back there, I had a wonderful time.  As I am not a social body, eager to find the most fantastic restaurant or the best entertainment, I enjoyed time alone being able to write some thoughts which seemed exciting to me at the time.  So why am I not feeling excitement and joy for this co-worker to visit Bean Town , enjoy the sights or mingle with other co-workers?

The reason is my own insecurity and lack of trust in her presentation of matters she has voiced concerns about.  In her mind, she may feel she is offering assistance, but it doesn't seem to feel that way to me.  I know, it is just my perception of her and my personal reaction to her comments, yet I find myself dreading the results she could create by talking about her concerns and beliefs of how I should be running the office, what a caring company should be doing for their employees, or what we are doing as an office or team that should be changed, how or by whom.

So, I find myself checking my trust level with myself and others I work closely with.  Do I trust that I could defend my skills, knowledge, abilities, choices and work ethic if they are challenged by something this co-worker may say or misrepresent based on her own beliefs, attitudes or work expectations?  I find myself checking my trust level with the corporate people I work with which this co-worker will be interacting or communicating with.  I hope I have created trust and a relationship with them which will allow them to be supportive of me, my work, actions, decisions and business ethics, allowing them to listen with understanding without reacting or making changes based only on her comments which may differ from the way I may have presented or communicated the same situation or concern. 

I know I am an asset to the organization and what I do has value.  My interactions with clients is often just as important, and sometimes much more delicate in balance, than other team members in the office.  I know I am an asset to the organization in the way I have and do interact with other team members in our office and offer support, encouragement and suggestions.  I know I am valued as someone who is dependable and steady, yet flexible enough to be called on to take on new duties and able to handle changes and challenges with a great attitude.   This knowledge and confidence is what I will hold onto during the next few weeks.

My answer to the question is this - I Will Trust Myself and Others.  I will trust myself that during the next two weeks my efforts, abilities and knowledge will be proven to others.  I will trust that I will make a personal list of subjects, based on local co-worker comments or concerns, which I may need to be prepared to discuss after this particular co-worker's visit to the corporate office,  I will trust the knowledge, experience and skills of corporate managers and owners to know what is pertinent or not pertinent to the well being of the local office as well as the overall company.  

I will hope that you also can make the same decision.  Trust yourself.  Trust those who know you well.  Trust your abilities, learned skills, knowledge and ethics will be noticed and appreciated.  Trust in the abilities, knowledge, ethics and beliefs of those who have an influence on your life.   Lastly, trust, as I will be, that the best will be the end result. 

Appreciation- A Lost Art or or A Lack of Expectation?

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I have had the opportunity the past few weeks to reflect on the art of appreciation.  Many things have happened at work since we moved our office and hired a new employee which have given me almost a daily chance to reflect on how my opinions and my attitudes differ from my fellow employees.  I do not claim to be better or worse, but our level of appreciation for life circumstances are definitely on different levels. 
Perhaps my experiences in life have taught me to appreciate what I have and enjoy what I have rather than always looking for more.  Somewhere along the way I learned to see the good things that happen, especially the small things, and appreciate moments and the efforts of others.  The art of appreciation involves accepting the present as it is and doing the best I of whom I can be in the present circumstances.  I believe part of being appreciative is believing in myself, knowing what I am capable of and knowing I can find a solution to what may appear as a problem. 
Children have a natural ability to appreciate.  They appreciate freedom and the chance to life it their own way.  They are proud of growing past a stage where someone else is always doing things for them and appreciate the chances to do it themselves.  They appreciate gifts, hugs, conversations and attention.  They make the best of what they have and use imagination and creativity to create something they want.  
This week was the first week of school. My six year old grandson has been so excited to use his new lunchbox. It wasn't something fancy, a square insulated box with a zipper and a small outside pocket, but it was his, something he had chosen himself to take to school.   He enjoys finding things to put into his lunchbox.  He trusts me and his mother enough to believe his food would taste as wonderful at noon as it does in the morning.  He was eager to share with me that he had found his own straw, spoon and even remembered to pack a napkin and a plastic bag (to put his spoon and empty bottle in when he was done so he could bring them home to wash). Placing a cold pack in with the supplies he left each day with anticipation of the meal to come.    
What struck me was the difference of this child in comparison to the attitudes of some co-workers in my office. These adults are given a full hour for lunch; more than many companies I have previously worked for.  They are less than 3 minutes from two major stores and several fast food establishments. Yet as grownups they are unable to provide for themselves.  Since there wasn't a cafeteria, kitchen or café in the office building, would the company be willing to have lunch brought in everyday?  How often can they plan on the company providing lunch for them during busy times of the month or which are the busy months when they can plan on the company ordering lunches for them so they don't have to worry about having to rush to get back?   These adults were worried that within a 4 hour period of time their lunches would spoil if the company did not provide them with a refrigerator.  An insulated lunch-bag & freezer pack might not keep their lunches cold enough.  It would cost them up to $7 to purchase one, and if the company cared about them they would purchase one for them. They believe it should be up to the company to provide them with utensils, cups and napkins to use to eat their lunches with, after all they moved into an office building that doesn't have a kitchen where they can wash their dishes or utensils after they are through eating. 
Another example of appreciation versus expectation happened this week. The landlord of the office building invited everyone in the building to come on Thursday for an appreciation breakfast which the landlord was providing.  When I got to work that morning, I explained to my co-workers that I had explained to my grandson that I couldn't wait to drive him to school that morning because I had been invited to a breakfast where I worked.  Both co-workers told me that the breakfast wasn't anything to get excited about, and I shouldn't have hurried.  It was just bagels and fruit.     I have not worked in any other office building where the landlord provided breakfast for every company and every employee within the building and I appreciated the kindness, and wanted to thank them for even thinking about it.   When I reached the lobby, what I found was an assortment of 8 different kinds of bagels to choose from, 5 different kinds of cream cheese spreads, an assortment of jellies, a platter with 6 different kinds of sliced fruits and a choice of juice or milk.   I was impressed rather than disappointed.  I am aware that there are probably about 100 employees now working within the building that the landlord was providing breakfast for.   When I returned to my desk with my filled plate, I felt pampered and spoiled.  Part of the difference in attitude I found was that I had not expected much and was surprised and appreciative of the efforts to provide a variety of things to choose from to meet many tastes.  On the other hand my co-workers were disappointed because they expected much more.  One of them had come expecting a hot buffet breakfast (eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, potatoes or pancakes).  The other was disgruntled because they only provided bagels rather than a choice of other things (donuts, pastries, muffins, cookies, different coffees and creams) because they should have realized not everyone prefers bagels.  While I was focused on appreciating the unexpected offer and the efforts of the givers, my co-workers appeared to be focused on what they expected people to do for them and the disappointment they found because their expectations were not met.
In thinking about these differences this week I couldn't help but ask the question again, is appreciation a lost art?  Is it something we forgot to teach a younger generation?   I certainly hope not.  Am I taking what appears to me as a kind act or word as something special and appreciating the person or moment only because I do not expect something grander?  If so am I wrong in doing so?    Should I expect more from others than I do?  Expect others to anticipate my needs, wants and desires and provide them for my comfort and happiness?   
My answer is "NO!"  As long as I can look around and find things to appreciate the Art of Appreciation will not be lost.  I can share it with a thank you, a note or in a conversation.  I can do as I did with my co-workers and explain that I know how hard it is to provide a meal for a variety of people and point out the effort to those who didn't see it before, and be supportive of positive actions.  I can spread the art by sharing the things I do appreciate and encouraging others to find something positive in their own lives.  Most of all I can be grateful I have the ability to appreciate the small and big things in my own life and choose to use the Art of Appreciation as often as possible.