Why Is This So Different?

I have lost count of how many times I have asked myself this question over the past days, weeks and months as I raise the youngest two children in my home.   As a single parent, I already raised my own five children.  Then I chose to take on the care and responsibility for three of my grandchildren.  Now I am starting over by raising two more children.   One might think since I have done it once, the second or third time should be a breeze.  Which, I guess, is why this question comes up so often.  I did it before, so why does it seem so hard? Why is this so different than last time? 

The answer is simple. Everything is different.    My financial situation is different.  My housing situation has changed several times over the years.  The support of family and/or family members is different. Former health and wellness concerns for me and others have been replaced by new medical and counseling needs.   The demands on my time have not remained the same through all the years.   Employment, hours and expectations have not remained constant.  Ways of dealing with stress or discouragement may be managed in a more or less effective manner.  Actions, thoughts and choices may have shifted in their level of priority or importance to me or someone else.   Relationships have certainly changed through out the years.  The expectations of society have changed over time.  Most importantly, no two children are alike, so it impossible for anything or everything to be the same as it used to be.

Last week, as I was looking through some prior journals, I found a passage where I must have asked myself the same question- What is different?   Reviewing the comparisons I made at that time between how things were when I was raising my five children alone and the reality of where I was at while raising three grandchildren was very informative.  I realized that whether I was to compare my present circumstances to thirty or ten years ago I would find a difference in every category.   In those few moments of reading, I felt a peaceful understanding settling in.

It is perfectly fine if what I am going through now, the choices I make and the results are different.   What worked in the past, worked because of the times, the people and the circumstances.  When dealing with different circumstances, people and challenges I was able to be, act and choose in another manner that were the best and most workable at that time.   No doubt, as I shift and reevaluate what is going on now, I will also find what works best in the present moments of life.  By recognizing the differences I can better decide how to use the knowledge, experience and skills I have gained from the differences of the past.  In recognizing the differences, as well as similarities, between the past and now both I and those I love will progress in new, different ways that will be just right, whether perfect or not, under the present circumstances and into the changing future. 
 
Are you feeling like life should be different than it is?  Ask yourself the question.  You may be surprised at the answers that come back.