Finding a Balance

Balance - visit Pixabay.com

This week has been interesting as it has given me the opportunity to take a look at the balance in my life between work and home, especially the balance at home between responsibilities/expectations versus caring for myself and my own needs.  
I feel most of the time my balance between work and home is handled well.  However, one of my managers caught me during a few moments when I had spaced off mentally or blinked without unblinking for a few seconds.  I know it was less than a minute, but it was enough to receive a formal warning from management.  Rather than freaking out about possibly losing my present employment, I have taken time this week to reflect on perceived demands on my time and expectations of others, both at work and home.
I found this picture today, and as I looked at it I appreciated it more and more.  In many ways it is depicts exactly how I feel lately. At first glance what I see is the balance of the stacked pebbles and the initial feeling of peace and relaxation. I feel balanced, things are happening with order and I am in control.    For a short period of time I just enjoyed the moment of calm and feeling of freedom the picture evoked.  Then I noticed the other pebbles nearby, the ones that are not as close in size or included in the choice of pebbles to work with.  There is a fairly flat pebble not too far back which looks as though it may have made a good base, however, as perfect as it appears on the visible surface, the sculptor chose not to use it, just as he chose not to include many of the other numerous rocks nearby. The choice of pebbles in creating the balanced result is like the choices I have to make in finding my own balance. Though something seems like it would add to the value or creation, I can't  include everything.  Have to make choices of what seems will work best together at any given time and leave other things to work on for another time.  Another thing that caught my attention was the water coming toward the shore.  At the moment it does not threaten the balance, but as time goes on it may or may not, depending on the changes in nature, shake or even topple the fragile balance that exists.  This is like the emotions, needs and choices of others in my life  Their moods or choices may threaten whatever balance I build and could come crashing upon me like an ocean wave, disturbing or changing the balance of sleep vs rest, freedom vs responsibilities, time for/with others vs time for own interests.  Like the stones, what I build may remain standing, inspiring someone else in the process or it may be washed away and I will need to rebuild from different materials or a new perspective. 
So I will take this opportunity to look at finding a new balance of responsibilities, work and time for self.   There will be less free play time allowed when I have four children here and more time in teaching them if the toys are not put away properly, it will take them longer to clean up.  Balance may involve putting out some cleaning charts as a reminder to myself of little things I can do in each day.  It will involve a refocus on getting the girls to sleep without grandma so I can have an extra half hour each evening to work on other things (writing, playing the piano or reading) which help me release and handle stress.  
I wish the reason for this reflection had never happened, but I am glad for the opportunity to reevaluate what does and doesn't work for me in keeping life in balance.  I am thankful I have skills and resources I can call upon to help me make choices which will work for me, in my unique circumstances.   
Although you may not have had a recent experience to cause you to reflect on the balance in your life, I encourage you to take the time now to look at how you too can improve the balance(s) in your life. 

I Can Handle Everything…

(Shared from www.bridgeofskills.blogspot.com)

These are the first few words of a quote a friend gave me one day at the office on a day we were both handling a number of unusual client and administrative requests.

“I can handle everything life throws at me. I can either handle it well or handle it bad; either way I have to handle it. “

I can’t see anything but truth in this thought. It is really a very empowering statement for anyone. As life comes along, whether it drags or seems to be speeding along, we each get to handle it. What we receive may be something big, demanding our highest level of attention and efforts or so small we handle it so quickly we hardly notice it was there.

We may not even handle similar life events or recurring situations the same way each time, yet somehow we handle it each time. Sometimes we handle what life gives us with a smile, sometimes with a groan and occasionally with deep emotion, but we handle it. Most times we walk away with the knowledge we were at our best and successful while occasionally we walk away wishing we could have done more or found a better way to handle the moments. No matter how it is measured on the spectrum, we did handle it. We handled it, made it through and stood ready for the next thing life was preparing.

Thankfully, we do not always have to handle life alone. Along with everything life throws us to handle, life also throws us friends, family and teachers that can aid us. We may still handle the majority of things life throws us on our own terms, in our own way, based on our our own experiences but we are better armed than we might have otherwise been because of the people life put in place for us to reach out to, lean on or on a rare occasion even hand the problem to and trust they can handle it for us.

I encourage everyone to realize that no matter what life throws at us, whether it is something we look forward to and prepare for something that takes us completely by surprise, we can handles. We are naturally armed with everything we need.  The only variable is whether we handle it well, alright or less than perfectly.  In the end we will handle it in some way.  

 

Mini-Vacations- I Love Them

Wow!  I have just enjoyed another "Mini-Vacation" (as my granddaughter and I refer to them.) I recommend them highly to everyone I know and love.   We take them at least once or twice a year. They are called mini-vacations because they do not last more than one or two nights (the mini portion) but they are a chance to get away from home for some activities, swimming, and just quiet thinking time (the vacation portion).  Occasionally we plan ahead, saving the money, but like this weekend, often they are a last minute decision to just escape and runaway from problems, pressures and work.
My 12 year-old granddaughter, Alex, has been suggesting we take a mini+vacation for several weeks. It seems that everytime I seem open to the idea, she ends up doing soething else with someone else, a friend, a parent, ad church group, etc.  She ends up off somewhere else, and I end up staying home to clean or relax on my own or finding my time filled with other grandchildren, responsibilities or projects which seem to pop up unexpectedly. I have thought about running-away on my own for some recreation of my own, but generally decide to use the money another way or save it and wait, knowing that the right time will come eventually. 
So yesterday afternoon I decided, this weekend would be great.  It was Alex's last day of school for the year.  I had attended an short, but emotionally draining meeting concerning her brother earlier in the week.  Even though my hours at work were decreased recently, I had during the week been handed additional duties and responsibilities.  I had also learned during the week that a health issue I had been having would best be handled with surgery which would leave it's own problems, and would require several weeks off work.  It was a time to celebrate, and a time to let go of worries and pressures.  So I called one of our favorite hotels in town and made a reservation for a two night stay, and left a message at home for Alex to start packing for us.  (Alex likes the pool in this hotel, the amenities, such as a hair dryer, microwave and refrigeratore, and I like the room arrangement, such as a table for writing or painting and a separate seating area with a couch and chair.)
Of course, like most vacations, flexibility is important, whether it is a long trip or a short overnight jaunt.  Planning is great, but you can't  expect everything to look or be a certain way.  Things happen simply because you are part of a loving family, and because of things you have taught your children to be or do.  Alex was excited to go on the long awaited vacation, but I had forgotten about a birthday party she had planned to attend. She was willing to just drop off a hand-made card, and give up her time with friends, but I knew this party was important to her, and being a good friend seemed to me a little more important at the time than just hanging out with family.   So the first night, which I had envisioned as the 2 of us at a movie, going to dinner, taking a late night swim and staying up to watch a movie together didn't happen.  Instead, we went to the store, bought her a gift to take to the party, grabbed a quick bite at a fast food restaurant, and while she went to the party I went to the hotel (only about 10 miles away) alone to check in, watch a movie and unpack, then back to our house to pick her up after the party, bring her to the hotel where she immediately fell into bed exhausted.  
Our next day was busy. We slept in an extra hour or two, dressed for the day, and went downstairs to enjoy the free breakfast buffet our chosen restaurant offers guests each morning.  Since this was a holiday weekend, and the hotel was filled, there were no open clean tables, so we took our trays back to our room and ate at the table in our room as though we had ordered room service.    I suggested a movie I knew Alex wanted to see at a local theater, and asked if she would like to go skating, something she enjoys but doesn't get to do often.  She was thrilled. Since the theatre and skating wouldn't open for another hour or so, we chose to go to the nearby mall and window shop.  The plan was to just look around, but we ended up buying new summer sandals for each of us, and enjoyed purchasing some jewelry and hair accessories to wear for the upcoming 4th of July and other activities.  The food court provided us with our favorite choices of food to enjoy before heading for the skating and movie center.   Since we were open to whatever worked, we didn't plan which was to be first the skating or the movie, so when we found out, we had missed the first posted showtime, we asked about the later show.  However, though the previews were almost over the movie had not started yet, so we bought the tickets and hurried into the theatre, sitting down just as the opening scene was beginning.  So we enjoyed a great movie together.  After the movie we walked to the other end of the building where Alex rented some skates and I found a comfortable bench to sit on where I could watch her and where I could sit and read a good book I had grabbed from home which I wanted to enjoy again.  An hour or so later, Alex was ready to go back to the hotel and enjoy what she likes most about the hotel, the swimming pool, full sized, heated and not usually too crowded to actually be able to actually swim if you want to.  By the time I made some phone calls and joined her, we had the pool to ourselves.  We both enjoyed racing and swimming hard, not just splashing around.  We had invited Alex's mother to join us, but she and her boyfriend had a full day planned, but wanted to have some time with Alex.  They arrived at the hotel as Alex and I were swimming, but couldn't stay for long.  We returned to our room.  Alex dressed, gathered her clothes for that night and the next day from the suitcase, and left to go with her mom for dinner and to spend the night. 
Although I had originally planned on Alex spending the second night with me, it was fine that I got this second night alone.  I could relax alone and spend some time remembering and thinking about the blessings I have that always, when recognized and noticed, always overwhelm and are greater than any perceived struggle or problem that may seem to be overpowering at the moment.  Being alone I could reflect on past and present and recognize that life just keeps going on and that for the most part, mine is pretty wonderful, with many things that simply happen and can too often be taken for granted, but are really small miracles and deserve to be recognized with gratitude. 
A good night's rest, brought me to my final morning of vacation.  A long leisurely bubble bath seemed the ideal way to start the day.  Plenty of time this morning to fix my hair and put on a little extra makeup and nail polish.  The breakfast area was less crowded, so I was able to sit at a table near the window, enjoy the scenery and eat a leisurely meal.  Back upstairs, I packed everything up, did a little writing, and enjoyed a cold drink. 
All too soon, it was time to check out.  Loading the car and preparing to go to church meetings, and return home to my everyday surroundings, responsibilities and challenges of life, I found I was already mentally planning another trip, sooner rather than later.  It was another moment to express gratitude that I am able to enjoy these mini-vacations, even if it sometimes means juggling financial items around, I am able to create these moments in time to renew, refresh, regroup, refocus and reconnect with myself and family members.  Others may talk about their great vacations to distant lands, their cruises, their tours, the productions they have seen or concerts and parties they attended before returning feeling refreshed.  I am happy for them, and rejoice in their excitement.  As for me, I think I will keep looking forward to and enjoying my simple little mini-vacations.

Time Passes Too Fast

Is it just my age or is time moving swifter than it used to?  I could swear it had only been a few months since I posted.  Now I look and and realize it has been more than 1/2 a year.

 I had such good intentions, and then life changed.  My Sunday writing time became replaced by weekly drives and visits with my grandson.  Evening writing time got lost due to having to work later to make up for time off for therapy, courts and other family obligations that interfere with a regular 8 to 5 schedule.   My relax after work time has become computer game time, and preparing a late dinner for the family, and scripture study with our new home teacher and his wife. (A story in itself.) 

I don't know how it is in your life but Time Passes Too Fast for me.  I am sure it was just yesterday that my granddaughter told me she was expecting, and yet today it is just a few months away and I am pushing her to get her room ready so we can move the baby furniture in.   I thought it was just yesterday that I finished the latest Jelisa story, and when I look it is saved three months ago, but I don't know where the time flew to.   I thought it has only been a few days not a full 2 weeks since I last wrote in my journal, but the dates when I open up the book tell me otherwise.  I was positive it was just yesterday that I was thinking of new ways I could show my value at work and keep my current job...Oh, thank goodness, finally one that really was just yesterday.

One day blurs into another lately.  I flow from one thing to another, just getting this done or that done, and finally reaching the end of the day.  I wake up the next morning, mentally list and review all the things I want or need to get done, and then begin, complete a few here and there, do what I have to, be pleasant and kind, and finally fall into bed, numb my mind with something from the computer, and fall asleep. Before I realize it days and weeks have passed without my marking them off or even making a note of them.  They were here and gone while I breathed my way through them.
So what happened to all those lost days?  Have they truly been lost?  Did time pass too fast for me to use it wisely?  No!  I used those days to increase my testimony and note it in a gratitude journal during sacrament meeting.  Those days contained moments of understanding, compassion, encouragement and listening that increased levels of trust, love and understanding in many relationships.  Sometime during the past few weeks as I watched time pass too fast I created 12 articles that a coworker read, was amazed by the ideas presented, and is impatiently waiting for me to put together the rest of the presentation so she can understand how all this "great stuff" fits together into a marketing plan.  Somewhere in those days I also gained a stronger testimony and a deeper belief in myself and in the possibility of receiving blessings that I feel have been just out of my reach, a someday wish that I have continued to hope for yet put off for the day when I have more time.  Perhaps now, while time passes too fast for me to note it's passing, those dreams are nearer than ever before.

Time does pass too fast for us to keep.  Yet when we capture a moment or two here or there through love, use of our talents or taking a step toward our future it has not passed in vain.  As time passes too fast we are offered a glimpse of a future where time is not noted and we live on doing the everyday things we do best..loving, creating and blessing others in our own unique ways.

Moment by Moment

This morning I want to thank my higher source for my ability at times to simply move from moment to moment without thought. I have learned in my home to take life moment by moment for I never know what the next moment will bring. I have to trust myself that all the parenting, spiritual and natural abilities will come into play without having to stop and ask myself what tools or lessons I am going to use, for seldom is there time to ponder on what to do.
It is probably a cliche' but a true one that sometimes one day is longer than another. I know in reality each day has the same number of minutes, but one day seems to move so quickly, time flies and moments blend together in rhythm and balance. Then there are days that seem to last forever or seem will never end, filled with moments of crisis, decisions, teaching, patience, forgiveness, guidance and responsibility. Why do days seem so different? The difference is in how I move from moment to moment, how I use the moments as they come along and who those moments are spent with.
Moments and minutes are not always the same. Every day has exactly 1,440 minutes to use. However every day does not have the same number of moments for a moment is not measured by time. A moment doesn't just pass, it occurs. A moment requires you to be present in some way for it to be. A moment can last from a few seconds to minutes, for it is the experiences or happening that defines it, not the time it lasts.
I feel blessed that the other evening I was able to move from moment to moment for most of the night with patience and faith in myself that whatever I did or said would be right in that moment There were a few moments, like when I allowed frustration and anger to appear in myself that I questioned whether I would handle the next moment correctly, but I realize that the frustration was what allowed me the strength to be firm in the next moment of confrontration and the anger gave me the desire to stand up for others in the following moment. I had to move from moment to moment without planning for between Cathy, Alex and Antonio there was to no time to think between the demands and experiences of the moments. What someone chose in one moment affected others in the next or required my presence in some way. One moment I had to decide how to deal with a 15 year old boy throwing a destructive temper tantrum and then comfort the hurt adult who is only trying to love this boy in-spite of the abuse she receives because of her efforts. One moment I needed to be firm and set a limit with an oppositional teen and the next I had to be silent as he packed to run away from home because he didn't think he should be asked to do what he was. As he stormed out the door, the moment was filled with questions and worries from those who loved him and I had to call on faith and hope, then the next moment decide which of two options would be the best use of my time, but before I could finish the project chosen, the boy returned and I my moment was filled with tears, anger and his words of despair and failure. Then on to create a new moment of caring and tenderness, filled with understanding of his pain, while showing him he could look at the same instances that were causing him pain and find the love and support that has always surrounded him. His life may not be what he would like it to be, but it so much better than he could ever have dreamt it to be. The difference is in how he chooses to look at the momement or what he chooses to focus on from the moments of his life. Then I got to move from the moments of understanding and connection to a moment of power struggle and then on to a moment of truce and then to moments of sharing things totally unrelated to the events of the earlier evening. Later moments flowed from moments of explanation to moments of request and on to to final moments of a 10 year olds day as she shared how much she loved her brother, but sometimes she had different feeleings, and how bad she felt when she had those moments of thought.
Moments moving are all too often not appreciated or recognized. I sometimes get so busy looking for an answer to my prayers of knowing how to handle or change something that I don't see my prayer is already being answered in how I am blessed in simply following inspiration, staying or creating peace and harmony amidst chaos, confusion and anger. Like others I am looking for a miracle to occur when what I really need is already being given to me moment by moment without my being aware I am being given the miracles in experiencing peace, patience, understanding, gratitude, forgiveness, strength, tolerance, love and countless more gifts and abilities.
Again, I express gratitude today for the moments of my life. I may not appreciate them all as they happen, but I know I am given them as a gift. How I choose to look at the moments as good or bad is up to me, for they have happened and continue to be given freely to use. I acknowledge that I receive far more than I am ever aware of or could express.