I Love This Quote

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While looking for a friend who has encouraged me in the past to try more writing experiences, I came across this quote.  This really hit home because so often this is exactly what happens when I have done some of my best writing.  I simply start writing, not knowing what is going to end up on the page until I done.  More often than not, it is exactly what I need to express or share.  More often than not it is exactly what someone else needs to hear, feel or know.  

I love to write when the words just flow freely and easily without thought about what is to come next.  It is the best form of writing.  I find that when I write this way the words seem to flow from my heart through the pen to the page where it then flows from the page to the readers heart or mind.  The flow isn't rushed or forced or swift.  The flow of thought is gentle, slow and refreshing.  

Right now I have several longer stories that keep coming to my mind.   One of these stories I have several chapters in place, but haven't written anything for a while.  On another I started, I was very excited about what I wanted the story to be about and who I was writing it for, but once started, it doesn't seem to be going as well as I would like.  A third story I started a few years ago has a few chapters I feel good about yet I haven't added anything else for almost a year.   As I read this quote, I understand why I feel like things are not going where I would like.  I have had well meaning friends and mentors who have told me about this book or that book on how to write a novel.  I have had found books that suggest how to write better.  Many of the books I have purchased on my Kindle this last year are from other writers who talk about the importance of developing the right plot, characters, scenes, descriptive balance and genre.  The more I read, the less I find I write freely and passionately.  I find myself planning what should happen instead of just letting it happen. 

So I express gratitude for finding this quote.  Before the day is over, I will print out a copy I can post on a wall or door or tape to my computer as a reminder to let go of striving for something I think should be and allow myself to get back to writing without thought.  I promise to share with you the surprises that come. 

Loving Parenting

 
Being a parent is not something anyone can adequately express in words, either spoken or written. Parenting is something that is as different and as unique for each parent as their child is unique from anyone else.   The most we can do as parents is to learn to love the moments, both good and bad, finding a way to  express our gratitude for the opportunity of being a parent.  I doesn't mother whether we call ourselves a mother or a father, there are some things we find we may have in common.   We struggle to find a balance between being able to provide unconditional love and being able to teach children what we want to know and love.  We try to find a balance between the moments of joy, fear, frustration and hope.  We experience a mix of memorable moments we never want to lose, confusion regarding the reason for certain behaviors and words and minutes in time we wish we could take back or forget ever occurred. 

Sometime as the years follow one after another we realize we are growing and learning at the same rate as our children.  They, as they grow decide whether they like being a child or want to grow up faster than we would desire.  We, as parents, also grow to decide if we like being a parent or can't wait for the time of childhood to disappear

For myself, I have found that I loved and still want to enjoy the opportunity of being a parent.  This decision to love being a parent, whether the times appear good or bad to myself or others, has helped me weather the storms of many family moments and choices my children have made.   It is because this decision has made such a difference for me in getting through some rough hours and days of parenthood, that I wanted to encourage others to find their own way to love being a parent, the ups the downs and the smooth paths in-between. 

"Loving Parenting" is a short book written with that hope of encouraging other parents to look at how they view their experience called parenting, and decide for themselves if they feel that loving the adventure will make a difference for them.  Some people may have made the decision years ago but because of changing circumstance need a friendly reminder of how to get back on track or begin anew.   

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00FCGVEMU

Sharing the News

OK, it has been two days since I shared the news here that I had published Bridges of Skills and that it was listed on Amazon.com for sale.  Both the paperback and the Kindle ebook version are available.  I already have two sales of the Kindle version (per the stats this morning).  I know one of them was my mother, but I am not sure who the other purchaser was. My hope is it is someone who will enjoy it and want to tell others about it.
I was already out of my comfort zone just in putting the book out for others to review and comment on.  I am praying that most of the comments and reviews will be positive.  Fear of rejection is what has kept me from sending these manuscripts to book agents or publishers.  So sharing this the way I have is far beyond what I thought I could do.  Yet as scary as it is for me, and as out of character from much of my past, I have found a great deal of joy in sharing this accomplishment with others. 
Last evening our ward had their annual Friends of Scouting donation drive kickoff event, a chili/soup cook-off.  At first I was hesitant to say anything, but when a friend asked how things were going at work I found I had not trouble saying although my work week had been tiring, actually completing the steps to publish a book and list it on Amazon.com had made my week exciting.  She was so excited for me, and promised to look for the book this next week to read.  I ended up sharing the news with about six of my friends and got the same reaction.  When told what the book was about, two of the ladies told me they would probably order it in the next week.  One of my friends, who I have just begun to really get to know, told me how much she admired me for handling so many challenges and still keeping a good attitude.  She said she couldn't wait to read about some of the skills I feel are useful.  
I posted the news on my favorite social media site in two family groups.  That was where my mother read about it.  So far I have only received to comments back, but then I know many in those group are not online on a regular basis.  So now it is time to share it one more time, with my online friends. I considered waiting until I had the second book online but I decided that there were enough friends who would share in my joy that waiting to share was falling back into my fear of acceptance by others.  So share I will, and as a second book is unfolded, I will share again.  While I learn new ways of sharing, I vow to enjoy the moments.  

Bridge of Skills is Now on Kindle

Time to take a deep breath.  I did it. I stopped  It was crazy, but I took the chance and decided to publish one of my self-help manuscripts as a book.  So after writing, rewriting, editing, reediting, convincing myself to not stress over whether anyone other than a few friends would even read it, formatting it to a book size page, purchasing ISBN numbers and writing a description and author bio I decided I needed to take the leap of faith.
 I know this first book is well written, and everyone I have ever shared it with in the past has found something of value and begged me to print them a copy to keep. I lost count of the people who have taken a copy of this home to share with a friend or neighbor.  I have even created my own comb-bound books just to see what it might be like.  Yet I have never sent it to a publisher or agent.  Why?  Fear of rejection by an "educated" expert.  Well, I have had the opportunity to reflect of a number of experiences lately, and realized, I have spent far too many years pretending to not know as much as the "educated" experts that I have worked with over the years.  I have also been inspired by my youngest sister to reach for our dreams and use our talents and experiences to touch the lives of others.
So after spending almost two years looking at different self-publishing companies,(Friesen, Outskirts, AuthorHouse, Lulu, BookLocker, among a few)  I finally decided to take a chance with Amazon.   So for several days I formatted, created, described, uploaded, priced, proofed, submitted and approved at CreateSpace to create a book for sale through Amazon.com.  Then I did it all again to add the choice as a Kindle e-book.
Tonight the e-book showed up in the Kindle store.  The print book takes a few more days before it is available, but I am still so excited tonight I can hardly sit still.  I showed it to two of my children this evening and to one of my grandchildren, who were all excited for me.  Now I want to get the next three books completed as soon as possible.  Anyone have ideas for a good cover picture that has to do with parenting?  I think that is the next one that is ready to go.  Wish me luck.  

If you would like to know more about the book, follow this link for the Kindle edition:  http://www.amazon.com/Bridge-of-Skills-ebook/dp/B00F9310HU/ref=sr_1_22?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379468252&sr=1-22&keywords=bridge+of+skills

Insecurity - Should I Worry or Trust Myself?

I have a co-worker  who is planning a trip to our corporate office in Boston, Massachusetts.  I have had numerous co-workers make a similar trip, wished them well and actually been excited for them.  It can be a great trip.  The one time I was privileged to journey back there, I had a wonderful time.  As I am not a social body, eager to find the most fantastic restaurant or the best entertainment, I enjoyed time alone being able to write some thoughts which seemed exciting to me at the time.  So why am I not feeling excitement and joy for this co-worker to visit Bean Town , enjoy the sights or mingle with other co-workers?

The reason is my own insecurity and lack of trust in her presentation of matters she has voiced concerns about.  In her mind, she may feel she is offering assistance, but it doesn't seem to feel that way to me.  I know, it is just my perception of her and my personal reaction to her comments, yet I find myself dreading the results she could create by talking about her concerns and beliefs of how I should be running the office, what a caring company should be doing for their employees, or what we are doing as an office or team that should be changed, how or by whom.

So, I find myself checking my trust level with myself and others I work closely with.  Do I trust that I could defend my skills, knowledge, abilities, choices and work ethic if they are challenged by something this co-worker may say or misrepresent based on her own beliefs, attitudes or work expectations?  I find myself checking my trust level with the corporate people I work with which this co-worker will be interacting or communicating with.  I hope I have created trust and a relationship with them which will allow them to be supportive of me, my work, actions, decisions and business ethics, allowing them to listen with understanding without reacting or making changes based only on her comments which may differ from the way I may have presented or communicated the same situation or concern. 

I know I am an asset to the organization and what I do has value.  My interactions with clients is often just as important, and sometimes much more delicate in balance, than other team members in the office.  I know I am an asset to the organization in the way I have and do interact with other team members in our office and offer support, encouragement and suggestions.  I know I am valued as someone who is dependable and steady, yet flexible enough to be called on to take on new duties and able to handle changes and challenges with a great attitude.   This knowledge and confidence is what I will hold onto during the next few weeks.

My answer to the question is this - I Will Trust Myself and Others.  I will trust myself that during the next two weeks my efforts, abilities and knowledge will be proven to others.  I will trust that I will make a personal list of subjects, based on local co-worker comments or concerns, which I may need to be prepared to discuss after this particular co-worker's visit to the corporate office,  I will trust the knowledge, experience and skills of corporate managers and owners to know what is pertinent or not pertinent to the well being of the local office as well as the overall company.  

I will hope that you also can make the same decision.  Trust yourself.  Trust those who know you well.  Trust your abilities, learned skills, knowledge and ethics will be noticed and appreciated.  Trust in the abilities, knowledge, ethics and beliefs of those who have an influence on your life.   Lastly, trust, as I will be, that the best will be the end result. 

Appreciation- A Lost Art or or A Lack of Expectation?

Found at Clipartlogo.com

I have had the opportunity the past few weeks to reflect on the art of appreciation.  Many things have happened at work since we moved our office and hired a new employee which have given me almost a daily chance to reflect on how my opinions and my attitudes differ from my fellow employees.  I do not claim to be better or worse, but our level of appreciation for life circumstances are definitely on different levels. 
Perhaps my experiences in life have taught me to appreciate what I have and enjoy what I have rather than always looking for more.  Somewhere along the way I learned to see the good things that happen, especially the small things, and appreciate moments and the efforts of others.  The art of appreciation involves accepting the present as it is and doing the best I of whom I can be in the present circumstances.  I believe part of being appreciative is believing in myself, knowing what I am capable of and knowing I can find a solution to what may appear as a problem. 
Children have a natural ability to appreciate.  They appreciate freedom and the chance to life it their own way.  They are proud of growing past a stage where someone else is always doing things for them and appreciate the chances to do it themselves.  They appreciate gifts, hugs, conversations and attention.  They make the best of what they have and use imagination and creativity to create something they want.  
This week was the first week of school. My six year old grandson has been so excited to use his new lunchbox. It wasn't something fancy, a square insulated box with a zipper and a small outside pocket, but it was his, something he had chosen himself to take to school.   He enjoys finding things to put into his lunchbox.  He trusts me and his mother enough to believe his food would taste as wonderful at noon as it does in the morning.  He was eager to share with me that he had found his own straw, spoon and even remembered to pack a napkin and a plastic bag (to put his spoon and empty bottle in when he was done so he could bring them home to wash). Placing a cold pack in with the supplies he left each day with anticipation of the meal to come.    
What struck me was the difference of this child in comparison to the attitudes of some co-workers in my office. These adults are given a full hour for lunch; more than many companies I have previously worked for.  They are less than 3 minutes from two major stores and several fast food establishments. Yet as grownups they are unable to provide for themselves.  Since there wasn't a cafeteria, kitchen or café in the office building, would the company be willing to have lunch brought in everyday?  How often can they plan on the company providing lunch for them during busy times of the month or which are the busy months when they can plan on the company ordering lunches for them so they don't have to worry about having to rush to get back?   These adults were worried that within a 4 hour period of time their lunches would spoil if the company did not provide them with a refrigerator.  An insulated lunch-bag & freezer pack might not keep their lunches cold enough.  It would cost them up to $7 to purchase one, and if the company cared about them they would purchase one for them. They believe it should be up to the company to provide them with utensils, cups and napkins to use to eat their lunches with, after all they moved into an office building that doesn't have a kitchen where they can wash their dishes or utensils after they are through eating. 
Another example of appreciation versus expectation happened this week. The landlord of the office building invited everyone in the building to come on Thursday for an appreciation breakfast which the landlord was providing.  When I got to work that morning, I explained to my co-workers that I had explained to my grandson that I couldn't wait to drive him to school that morning because I had been invited to a breakfast where I worked.  Both co-workers told me that the breakfast wasn't anything to get excited about, and I shouldn't have hurried.  It was just bagels and fruit.     I have not worked in any other office building where the landlord provided breakfast for every company and every employee within the building and I appreciated the kindness, and wanted to thank them for even thinking about it.   When I reached the lobby, what I found was an assortment of 8 different kinds of bagels to choose from, 5 different kinds of cream cheese spreads, an assortment of jellies, a platter with 6 different kinds of sliced fruits and a choice of juice or milk.   I was impressed rather than disappointed.  I am aware that there are probably about 100 employees now working within the building that the landlord was providing breakfast for.   When I returned to my desk with my filled plate, I felt pampered and spoiled.  Part of the difference in attitude I found was that I had not expected much and was surprised and appreciative of the efforts to provide a variety of things to choose from to meet many tastes.  On the other hand my co-workers were disappointed because they expected much more.  One of them had come expecting a hot buffet breakfast (eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, potatoes or pancakes).  The other was disgruntled because they only provided bagels rather than a choice of other things (donuts, pastries, muffins, cookies, different coffees and creams) because they should have realized not everyone prefers bagels.  While I was focused on appreciating the unexpected offer and the efforts of the givers, my co-workers appeared to be focused on what they expected people to do for them and the disappointment they found because their expectations were not met.
In thinking about these differences this week I couldn't help but ask the question again, is appreciation a lost art?  Is it something we forgot to teach a younger generation?   I certainly hope not.  Am I taking what appears to me as a kind act or word as something special and appreciating the person or moment only because I do not expect something grander?  If so am I wrong in doing so?    Should I expect more from others than I do?  Expect others to anticipate my needs, wants and desires and provide them for my comfort and happiness?   
My answer is "NO!"  As long as I can look around and find things to appreciate the Art of Appreciation will not be lost.  I can share it with a thank you, a note or in a conversation.  I can do as I did with my co-workers and explain that I know how hard it is to provide a meal for a variety of people and point out the effort to those who didn't see it before, and be supportive of positive actions.  I can spread the art by sharing the things I do appreciate and encouraging others to find something positive in their own lives.  Most of all I can be grateful I have the ability to appreciate the small and big things in my own life and choose to use the Art of Appreciation as often as possible.

Blessed with Sisters

I am so blessed to have two sisters, both of whom I love dearly.  Unfortunately because of daily life responsibilities, work, family obligations, health and distance we do not always get to see and talk to each other as often as we would like.   I cherish any time I get to spend with either of them.  

Last night I had the opportunity to sit and talk with my youngest sister at her new home.  I met the new man in her life and listened as she shared the new direction her life is moving  We shared a few memories of the past and reflected on lessons learned.  As usual, hours came and went unnoticed or marked until it was late and we reluctantly had to call our current time together to an end.  Hugging each other in parting I couldn't help but feel the warmth of love.  We may not reach out to each other as often as we like, but when we do, we walk away enriched, sustained and with renewed knowledge of who we are. 

On the drive home I thought about the opportunity I had just a few weeks ago to visit with my other sister as I drove her from the airport to our parent's home.  We shared happenings, concerns and hopes for family members, shared some memories and reflected on the importance of beliefs and choices in life.  As always, our time together was not long enough before time nudged to let us know we needed to refocus on life around us again.  So with a hug and kiss we separated comforted by the knowledge we are not alone in our beliefs, thoughts or struggles and we each have strengths, talents and love we can call upon to carry us through life until we speak or meet again. 

My thoughts about my sisters and the ways they each touch my life in different ways are what I am blessed to start this day with.  I know keeping these in mind I will walk lighter, find enlightenment and look for opportunities and meaningful moments throughout the day.